Adverts for insurance – a review

My first TV review – wowsers – such an opportunity to tell you how much I loathe the thing… but no, I love TV, it’s ace, the best thing invented since, er, radio, I guess. I love it so much, I get really depressed by adverts. No, really, it actually depresses me when adverts come on, I feel it echo in my chest like a really upsetting thing, I feel lower, my heart rate goes up as I try, fervently, to find some alternative entertainment whilst I’m sitting there bemoaning my ad-ridden fate…

… and then I relax a bit and forget the EPG and settle down to watch and listen to the most appalling attempts to part me from my money. Good God what on earth is going on when a good god would allow these kinds of things to work their way into our receptive, jelly-like brains. I don’t want L’oreal hair-dye… but on the other hand, *I really do*. It’s not fair. Maybe I should be reviewing hair dye, or maybe even L’oreal (is that right, it looks wrong…).

I want, instead to very, very briefly review adverts for insurance: home, personal, car – it really doesn’t matter. It’s all a lot of really irritating, totally impersonal and quite aggressive posturing for my money. Apparently I’m quite stupid for thinking of going with anyone else for my insurance… and frankly, I’d be a moron not to be impressed with what they’re offering me. Yunno, it kinda takes the shine off things when REALLY what they should be doing is reminding me why I bloody need insurance, and why, actually, they’re any good at what they do. I don’t want a free bleeping phone keyring, I don’t really need a nodding dog. I have no need for an aggressive overweight semi-moustachiod man telling me that he’d totally be my best friend if he could represent me next time I trip up on a paving slab.

Ugh! Adverts, bane of my life because I love TV so much. Stop torturing me, telly, give me good programmes instead! PLEASE!!!

Adverts: 4/10
Adverts for insurance: 0/10

Shocking, just shocking.

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