Wow – what an amazing bit of fall-out from the Google Images fun and games that’s being going on in the media all day regarding this Michelle Obama “Offensive” image. I’ve been following it without any serious idea of how big a deal this is… until I went online and a few news sites and saw how many people are getting involved in this row, and in really serious tones.

Personally I struggled to find the image when I first heard the news and I’m including it here, not to further the problem or to try to snatch a few extra visitors to this rubbish blog (seriously, and honestly, I’m sorry if you think that) because of that reason. Hopefully people will understand that that’s the true reason behind my posting it. As Google themselves have said, the image itself may cause offence but actually the conversation that’s sprung up is interesting (in a social sense) and infuriating in lots of others.

Read the rest of this entry

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“Something awesome is happening to virgin1″ – anyone any idea what’s being referred to here? I don’t watch Virgin much, didn’t even realise I could get it until recently when I did a freeview channel refresh – so I’ve just seen that on the 09/06 (that’s 9th of June Americanos) something awesome is going to happen.

Anyone?

Fake glasses and moustache

It's moustache time!

Hey, you may remember a post from a while back asking you to command your moustache Рwell, today opens the 2009 World and Beard Mustache Championships.

I think everyone should get involved in this battle of the beards and moustacheii, start today, compete next year – you could be the grand winner of the 2010 World and Beard Mustache Championships.

My recommendations are to “shake up” a competition that already looks like it’s been placed inside a bag of baubles and dropped off the side of a cliff. Let’s face it, the people who go into that competition are nutters, most of them look like they’ve been hitting the gin a bit too hard. What kind of brain makes them think “Hmm, I guess if I only shaved one half of my moustache, that could give me just the kind of tactical advantage I need”. And so on.

Let’s fair it, these hirsute behaviours are as disturbing as they are beautiful. I, for one, would like to see a contestant with a moustache of bees. Please, please help make that dream become a reality.

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I’m a bit stymied, I must confess. I could really do with understanding how on earth Wordpress is able to do its 404 handling and url-rewriting. I’m a web developer and I’ve used 404s to do url-rewriting before but I can’t see how wordpress can do this without actually having to do anything server side.

For my own purposes I change the “Error documents” part of the IIS setup for a website and redirect to /404.htm (or something) and have a CGI script check what it’s supposed to be showing, if anything. But Wordpress doesn’t require anything like this… and I’m stumped.

This question raised itself even more when I realised it has something it calls a “virtual robots.txt” file. And indeed, the file doesn’t exist, but try to access it and it does. Freaky!

I’m primarily a ColdFusion developer and that uses an Application.cfm file which pre-pends itself to any ColdFusion request on the site. If php has the facility to do anything like this then it’s news to me… but otherwise I don’t get how wordpress can be doing it!!

Weirdness. Answers on postcards. Virtual or otherwise.

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I haven’t done any reviews recently because… well, I’ve just been too bored and busy. I’m sorry but this whole “writing things for the internet so people who don’t know me or care about me can bugger off after reading the first line” is just not keeping me excited. Yes, I am grumpy, but I don’t much care.

I’m not interesting, I do nothing that’s useful, I am living a normal life with nothing to say. Even if I did there’d be little to no point “blogging” about it. Yeah, I’m going to put blogging in bloody quotation marks because that’s how fundamentally nonsense I think the whole thing is.

I don’t know, I know a lot of people who socialise and I can kinda get that. It’s not my bag, but: Facebook away! MySpace away! Tweet all the hell you want! But blogging? Who gives a ****?

If I want news, I’ll go to a news site. If I want opinion, I’ll ask my friends. If I want to waste my time, I’ll blog about it.

What. Ever.

Amen [to misquote Ben Folds]

The 4 requeried words

An odd one this, when trying to find out about various competitions running on the internet, I came across one in parrticular for the 4 requeried words which was an attempt to make sure that anyone who was reading the intenret for this phrase was going to be above other people in the search results for the phrase and that phrase was the four required words.

The 4 requeried words

So what are the four required words? Well, I don’t think there are any, as such. It’s all just a mish-mash of sentences devoted to trying to get somewhere without having to do any real work or having to make a jot of sense. If sense comes in jots, which I’m not sure about.

What I am sure about is that it’s all a bit of a swiss cheese of a situation.

Command your moustache

Bees on honeyI have to admit, this post is more of a secret experiment… well, not really that secret. And not that much of an experiment. But effectively I’m looking to challenge the world, its minions, and the greasy brown blob that sits on top of your work-bench during your attempt to re-create the first few seconds of evolution. Brown, blobby and greasy. Three favourites in one.

OK, OK, none of that *literally* makes sense, but some of it is still quite beautiful.

I’ve been thinking about moustaches, I do, admittedly, have a moustache but I don’t like to talk about it. I prefer my beard of bees – now THAT is a site to behold. In fact, why don’t get moustaches of bees? All it would take is a single smearing of jam on your upper-lip and Bingo! There’s your moustache of bees. Once you’ve got your bees in line, you could command your moustache to take flight at an enemy, smite them in whichever way they see fit (some kind of stinging, probably, knowing the unimaginative bee).

I wonder if this is where the phrase “bee-line” came from?

So, I’m going to score the moustache of bees a healthy 8/10. Go bees! And everyone else, don’t you wish you could command your moustache?

Bricanyl Terbutaline sulphate - My InhalerI’m having a bad asthma day for no reason whatsoever and it’s getting me down. It stings my chest and makes me very wary of walking anywhere. Hopefully it’ll subside at some point – my reliever inhaler (this week I are been mostly using Turbutaline by Bricanyl) is working but it’s struggling. I wonder if I’m due a slight cold or chest infection. I say slight because there’s no other real indication of what it might be.

So, asthma is bloody awful. I see a nurse about it every 3 to 6 months and my condition goes up and down so much that my medication changes incessantly as well. My fault, I must admit, I’m not particularly “into” taking medicine and taking something long-term and daily leaves me very cold indeed. I know this is a pathetic excuse, there are people with far worse things going on in their lives that have to take medication many times daily for their well-being. All I should have to do is take a single preventative inhaler once a day and I can’t even manage that.

So what exactly am I reviewing here? I suppose I should rate Asthma a 3/10 – it’d be selfish to suggest anything lower than that, it’s not crippling, it’s not making me bleed out of my eyes… but to those who just think it’s an excuse for people to get out of sports at school – it really is quite horribly painful and scary.

How many people die from asthma?

Each year around 1500 a year in the UK and 5000 a year in the US die from asthma, usually after very severe asthma attacks to long existing sufferers but sometimes quite out of the blue to people who have never before exhibited symptoms. Quite scary. But, if it’s well managed (and mine should be) then you should be very happy and healthy, barring the overeating of burgers and voles.

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6.30 in the morning

It’s now nearly 8.30 in the morning which means I’m a little less drowsy and irritable than I was just 2 hours ago when I had to get up. Forgive me for sounding like a miserable git but frankly, 6.30 in the morning is just not a fair time. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the eyes and the chest, stamped on the head and told that coffee is just an illusion. That’s pretty awful.

6.30AM is for mugs. I look forward to any day when I can leisurely rise between, ooh, say 2 to 3 in the afternoon. That’s about right, nice and warm under a duvet – sounds perfect to me.

Huge RSS feed iconHey-ho, so I come back to my own site every so often just to see how few people have visited the site. This is the real difficulty of starting a new blog, it’s difficult to write, difficult to make sure you’re giving yourself enough time to write new stuff to review, and then no-one comes.

I’m not disheartened yet, long way to go before that, but it’s probably the hardest thing about blogging. Personally I chose not to use an off-the-shelf blogging package which gives me a fair few headaches when it comes to getting traffic right from the beginning. Wordpress (for instance) seems truly excellent for just getting one’s website immediately into search engines and “pings” to various blog aggregation services. The trade-off, in my case, is that I can at least custom build EXACTLY what I want to without any restriction. If I can imagine it, I can make it do it. Kind of.

Starting a new blog is also difficult because it’s hard to make sure you’re writing about the stuff that:

a) is actually interesting to anyone who isn’t your mum
b) is interesting and fun to write about
c) doesn’t take too long to research or do

So for me it’s all about making sure I’m doing what I said I’ll do: review everything I can that I come across and feel moved to do.

Starting a new blog gets 5/10 for me. It’s early days so my feelings are pretty much so-so. Fingers crossed traffic will pick up and I get some real people on here, perhaps even posting :O

Love to y’all.