Fake glasses and moustache

It's moustache time!

Hey, you may remember a post from a while back asking you to command your moustache Рwell, today opens the 2009 World and Beard Mustache Championships.

I think everyone should get involved in this battle of the beards and moustacheii, start today, compete next year – you could be the grand winner of the 2010 World and Beard Mustache Championships.

My recommendations are to “shake up” a competition that already looks like it’s been placed inside a bag of baubles and dropped off the side of a cliff. Let’s face it, the people who go into that competition are nutters, most of them look like they’ve been hitting the gin a bit too hard. What kind of brain makes them think “Hmm, I guess if I only shaved one half of my moustache, that could give me just the kind of tactical advantage I need”. And so on.

Let’s fair it, these hirsute behaviours are as disturbing as they are beautiful. I, for one, would like to see a contestant with a moustache of bees. Please, please help make that dream become a reality.

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Command your moustache

Bees on honeyI have to admit, this post is more of a secret experiment… well, not really that secret. And not that much of an experiment. But effectively I’m looking to challenge the world, its minions, and the greasy brown blob that sits on top of your work-bench during your attempt to re-create the first few seconds of evolution. Brown, blobby and greasy. Three favourites in one.

OK, OK, none of that *literally* makes sense, but some of it is still quite beautiful.

I’ve been thinking about moustaches, I do, admittedly, have a moustache but I don’t like to talk about it. I prefer my beard of bees – now THAT is a site to behold. In fact, why don’t get moustaches of bees? All it would take is a single smearing of jam on your upper-lip and Bingo! There’s your moustache of bees. Once you’ve got your bees in line, you could command your moustache to take flight at an enemy, smite them in whichever way they see fit (some kind of stinging, probably, knowing the unimaginative bee).

I wonder if this is where the phrase “bee-line” came from?

So, I’m going to score the moustache of bees a healthy 8/10. Go bees! And everyone else, don’t you wish you could command your moustache?